You've been stuck in my head like a melody.

Been thinking about you.

Mom: "You need to find yourself a boyfriend, anak. Aren't you lonely?"

I'm not exactly sure where my mom acquired the thought of me being lonely just because I'm single; but I can assure you that I'm not lonely and I definitely don't "need" one. I'm perfectly content with how things currently are. Yes, content, because I can admit that I'm not completely happy. But my happiness has nothing to do with not having a boyfriend.

This is where my happiness comes from: Getting enough sleep, payday, getting a good grade on a quiz/exam, watching Netflix, sushi, working a shift with my favorite people, spending quality time with friends, having time for breakfast and coffee in the morning, etc.

You have the little things, and then you have the big things. Of course, I think I'll keep the big things to myself.

Emily Allen once said, "There's so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn't. There's a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn't need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole person on your own. Do all things with love, but don't romanticize life like you can't survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn't any less beautiful."

The point is, I'm doing well with myself. Having a boyfriend is the last thing on my mind.

Why is it always the friendships that you hold closest to your heart, the ones that fall apart?

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.

I ached for what never became.

My mother said to me recently, "You remember too much. Why hold onto all that?"

I replied with, "Where do I put it down?"

Every time I see how far someone is getting in the nursing field, I question whether or not changing my major was the right decision. I can admit that I only wanted to become a nurse for the money, but I can't help but get jealous that they're getting closer to the career that I once desired. 

You know, as the semesters were passing me by, I could feel that I wasn't going to make it. It was a constant feeling, and then everything suddenly started to seem more challenging. More stressful. Oh, and lets not forget miserable. I no longer had the heart to continue moving forward in this field. Not even for the money. 

This gets to me from time to time, because I feel like I've lost one of the best traits that people saw in me. It was something that defined my work ethic, how successful I wanted to be. & Now it's just ... Gone.

Hi, I just wanted to see how you were doing.

I've been contemplating on how to react to this text. Then I thought, "Why do you care?" I was ready to reply to it when I woke up this morning, but decided to take the day to think about if I truly wanted to or not. I was thinking about how much you've changed. Everything you've made me feel in your absence. Do you even deserve a reply? Ugh, I just don't know.

Things have to fall apart in order to get better, and I need to remember that.

I hope that one day you'll miss me the way that I used to miss you.

Key word: Used to.